Why do we do the things we do?

Craig Smerda · Post by **Craig Smerda** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:50 pm

I don't know how many of you knew Don Smith but there's been a great deal of posts over on BoaterTalk since he passed away and this thread really struck a chord with me... as many before them have. This one put me at a loss for words though...

http://boatertalk.com/forum/BoaterTalk/1052277782/

I'm off to the river... time for me to "live a little" today.

Cheeks · Post by **Cheeks** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:50 am

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. For me, this just isn't worth dying for. I want to be the best paddler I can possibly be, and run the most difficult whitewater I can. But I never want to put anyone in the position of having to call my parents or my girlfriend and tell them something happened.

These adventure sports we participate in, they come with inherent risk of life and limb, and we accept that. All whitewater is dangerous to a degree, it just matters to what degree, and to what degree are you willing to risk.

A lot of good people died last year, but the one that really struck me was Carl Schneider, because he was someone I saw nearly every weekend on the LY. I probably never spoke more than ten words to him, but the idea that he was just, gone, was hard to wrap my head around.

I love paddling. I devote a lot of time and effort to it, and it will soon become my day-to-day life post college, but dam, this is always hard. It is, without a doubt, the worst part of the sport.

Wiggins · Post by **Wiggins** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 2:40 am

One person who I boated with a few times has died on the river, and my best friend in school was killed in a canoeing accident in Puget Sound. Another person I paddled with when I was starting out was killed recently in a DUI accident on the way to the river. I also have the dubious distinction of having come back from the "dead" after a river accident (basically because of a miscommunication between rescuers my parents were told I was dead when I was missing). This means I have faced all the questions in the Ammons article and more.

I also had to answer these questions when a member of my department died a few years ago.

The best I came up with was that I may die doing what I love, and if that happens it will hurt those I care about. In this way I am selfish for doing what I do. However it is equally selfish for those who would caution me against doing these things, or would corner my friends about my choices after my end because they don't understand, to say I am wrong for doing them. I will live my life on my terms to the extent I am able for as long as I am able.

The bottom line is that we all make choices, those choices have consequences, and we all face death eventually. Let me be on record as having made my peace with death if it comes as I am on the river with my friends, or on some county road by myself.

Kyle

RodeoClown · Post by **RodeoClown** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:25 am

Tenzing wrote:It is, without a doubt, the worst part of the sport.

True dat. And if you've ever smelled a bag of boating gear that's been in the back of a hot car for a couple of days, it really puts it in perspective how bad it is.

Why do we do this? Because of the people we meet along the way and the experiences we share with them. I have some good memories of boating with Don. He rubbed me the wrong way a lot (and I think he may have enjoyed doing so), but I really only remember the good... or at least funny. He helped take a friend down the Upper Blackwater for his first time- the rest of us had run it a few times, but weren't sure we'd remember the lines well enough. Don rolled up for his third lap of the day, agreed to guide, but said he needed to make it quick because he had to get home and do some work. Still the fastest Blackwater run I've ever done...

I also remember a long, late drive from the Gauley to Asheville with Isaac Ludwig. I think it was the first or maybe second time I'd met him, he was planning on riding with some mutual friends, but their car was full, so he jumped in with me. The common experiences and passion we share make it easy to make fast friends in this sport and bind us together, but are also what makes these losses so much more painful. For me, it's not something I could walk away from- because if it weren't for all this foolishness, I wouldn't have these memories and experiences. These people wouldn't have been part of my life- even if that part was cut unfortunately short.

At least, that's how I justify it to myself. Be safe out there.

KNeal · Post by **KNeal** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 12:29 pm

Thanks for sharing the BT post, Craig. These questions remind us of our humanity/mortality and the potential consequences of our choices. For us, loss of life can happen on the river--it can also happen on the way to paddle or on the way back home. Regardless of how it happens, the ones who die are not the ones who pay the price. The survivors of that individual are the ones who pay the price. And right now, I am speaking personally about losing two good paddling friends who died on a VERY familiar stretch of rapids, and a family loss that happened just a few months ago. We make our choices, death happens accidentally, but like Leland pointed out in his response, we increase our risk of dying when safety is compromised (I'm paraphrasing here). I choose to live life as fully as I can and I have every intention of not realizing the too-often-used phrase, "he died doing what he loved". That's just bullstink. I want my 5-year old daughter to share in my experiences and I HAVE to be around to do that--this is much more important.

A timely article considering we have our armada starting tomorrow. I'll be there and am looking forward to seeing familiar faces and meeting new people. Craig, I hope you had a great time today on the river.

Craig Smerda · Post by **Craig Smerda** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 2:52 pm

Last night I paddled what I consider my first 'real' whitewater river just 15 minutes from our home. The river wasn't ripping high... in fact it was just above what I'd consider a worthwhile level but while we were making our way down the run I began to recall my first adventure down this river back when I really didn't know doodly squat about paddling whitewater and in my mind we barely came out alive. I thought of all of the fantastic friends I've made going forward from that day, the journeys and adventures we've shared and the many special moments that only paddlers are able to experience while we're out doing what we love. Towards the end of the run it dawned on me that I was also out paddling on a river that I loved in a boat I played a part in and how truly fortunate I've actually been over these years for all the great things I've been given an opportunity to experience.

When I got home our 4 year old daughter asked me "How was paddling daddy?" to which I replied "Perfect honey... it was just what I needed".

Alden · Post by **Alden** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 3:53 am

Here is a photo of Don Smith in 2007 in the rapid on the NF Blackwater in which he died last week. He has just executed the boof and is exiting the "Rainbow Room" eddy.

The log on which he drowned was almost two feet underwater in the upper left of the picture, in the run-out, halfway between Don (foreground) and Geoff (background):