Need to take your mind off the lack of water?

[Space Canoe]

So, what with being on painkillers and with no water anywhere in the near future, my mind has been wandering to unforeseen avenues of thought. First off, it seems we' re having to make a choice between Smart Bombs or Smart Kids, how come we're having such a problem with that? Secondly, I was watching a televangelist late last night, and he said that God only sanctioned "sex with someone that you're going to love and cherish for the rest of your life", and I thought to myself "Gee, if that isn't a perfect description of masturbation, what is?". Thirdly, and here's where you can help, there's a woman on the professional tennis tour and her last name is SMASHnova. Isn't that a great name for tennis player to have? So I was wondering what would be a great name for a paddler to have? And I mean one that would actually be credible, not "Lilydip Crossbow Wonderblade", but something that might really be a name.

On second thought, let's open up a second train of thought as to what is the strangest real name you've ever heard? I'll start off: I had a friend in college whose last name was Stone, and his parents named him Rocky. Rocky Stone. And I have a better one that I'll save for later in this hopefully long thread;
Ric Taylor

[upsidednpadlr]

Ric,

Easy on those pain killers man...

The water will come - we have it here in the South East NOW!

Later...

[Sir Adam]

Greetings...

This is YOUR forum. Do you want posts like this moderated off, or left? Personally, I find RT rather humorous, thought provoking, and occasionally informative:) (just kidding ). Note to SpaceCanoe-this is not an attack on you, this is just the first time it has come up! I'll C what I can do to send some water your way ASAP

BUT, this is a CBoat forum, and if we want to keep it to just CBoats, let me know...as I said, this is YOUR forum!

Post or reply if you wish to be anonymous

[MotorCityOC-1]

Yeah Sir Adam, this is definitely the kind of thread that will keep me checking in every day. Unfortunately, the pain killers I'm on dull my brain as well as the aching in my testicles, so I am unable to think of good paddling names at this time.
Note to self: next time schedule your vasectomy before a weekend when WV isn't going off!
Also, why was Space Canoe making fun of my name?

Sincerely,

Lillydip C. Wonderblade

[KNeal]

Hi, Ric! Sorry to hear the paddling conditions are dry out there. As was stated earlier, our rivers in the southeast have been cranking! Not to rub it in, I'd just as soon as have you here with us to share in the surfing opportunities. Take care of yourself and stay cool, bro!

KNeal

P.S.

[James]

I gotta agree, this kind of stuff definitely should have a place on this forum, if only because it is pretty dam amusing how we all go out of our minds when we can't paddle. That said, too early in the morning for me to think of wierd/ silly names I have heard of, though the hippy generation definitely came up with some quality flakey names, along the lines of Sunshine and Moonbeam etc. Are the rivers in the US SE generally in flood right now? started flowing? hoping to head down second week of March.

[Alden]

I think a good name for a paddler would be: Iona Boat.

Or maybe for canoeists like ourselves: Noah Yaka.

Or, to build on a current c-1er's name and come up with a great all around paddler's name, especially for those of you with jobs: Kalin Insick.

Reminds me of those names on Car Talk (anyone listen to that?) like the law firm "Dewy Cheatum & Howe," I can't remember any more.

I know how you feel though, Ric. Plenty of water up here, it's just in solid form.
Alden

[Space Canoe]

THAT'S what I should've done! Just put an “OT” after the post so that people would have known that it wasn't in regards to paddling. Sorry.
And no offense taken, Adam; I think we all appreciate the fact that you're taking such good care in continuing this forum. Besides, “occasionally informative” is probably the nicest thing that has ever been said about MY paddling information (Tee Hee!)!
I was just looking at the board and it seemed nobody had posted much of anything for a while, so I said to myself "for God's sake, somebody post something!" And then I said "well, why don't you post something?". So I decided to share my "creative lunacy". Seen in the cold light of day it's not quite as amusing as I thought, so again let me apologize if any offense was taken, that was certainly not my intent. But I don't want this board to become too obsessive about only just paddling info. You can tell from these posts that there's a lot of great, decent people on this forum and I don't mind hearing some of their humorous stories or serious opinions on things other than boating. I personally would appreciate being notified not only of different paddling products (Re the Kalin incident quite awhile ago, when some clever scamp posted a troll and prompted us all to leap to his defense), but also of any other intriguing web sites, virus alerts, etc . There are other things that I love in my life, too, and I'm betting that some other people here share the same varied passions. I also think the people here are straight enough to keep most issues focused on the discipline implied by this forum's title.
And if my opinions offend you in any way over a prolonged period of posting, then just slide by me; I don't take any offense at that; there's a couple of posters on Boatertalk that I just slide by every time I see their " 'net moniker " come up. But I have to also confess that possibly the main reason I go to Boatertalk isn't to find out anything about boats (because it's a stinking kayak forum in that category), but about the rants that you find there concerning other topics. Last night, for instance, there were posts on Amnesty International, Tom Petty, and one big long post by "Claire" asking about new C-1s! She was wholeheartedly referred to this forum, by the way. Almost every other boating forum that I visit has an occasional non topical post that is quite intriguing.
So, Sir Adam, does this qualify not only as the first off-topic post, but as the first rant on the new forum as well??

Anyway, thanks to everyone for the generally positive feedback, and on to the originally posted question regarding cool hypothetical boating names and cool or humorous real names that have been encountered: The second real name that I had (besides Rocky Stone) is Christian Downer. I don't know why that cracks me up so much, but it just seems like either a life-changing event or an entire personal philosophy wrapped up in a name.
That said, I have to confess that those mother-bucking double bladers at Boatertalk (with the exception of the pretty cool attempt by Alden) basically opened a can of Whup-butt on us as regards this topic. Although admittedly much less mature and much more badly misspelled, here's some of their replies to both parts 1 and 2 (take them for what they're worth):

Knew a guy one named Blue Sky. Sister Breezy, Brother Stormy.
Parents smoked lots of dope.

There's always "Rose Bush", someone my wife knew

Had a professor in college name Richard Stroker
Course we all know what the nickname for Richard is.

Rodeo Champion: Lincoln Morends....
That's the only good kayaking name I can come up with...
But, here in Montana there is a flyfishing guide in my area named Rod King, also, a hunting outfitter named Buck Masters.

Eric Ted Dyck...
well, not quite, cuz his name was actually eric tod dyck, but it works either way.

Kid at my high school: Stu Pidcock (no lie)

Chick at my HS... Carolyn Kapenis

Eddie Hop, would be cool...

Kid in my highschool...Hang Long (oriental).

There's a Chinese restaurant in Salina, Kansas named Big Wong.

Harda Herring
Unfortunate name for a girl
Guy I used to work with was named Richard Johnson. We just used Dick Dick for short

Adolf Oliver Bush

Straiton Hard III
Real name. No kidding. And to think he was the third in his family with the same name

From High School - Misty Spray, not a bad name for a paddler either

These are real names of people I knew Carol Lina (nothing could be finer than to be in ....) and
Crystal Chandra Lear

Guy named Chad WEINER...swore he was gonna name his son HARRY

two brothers in a band in morgantown...dan and billy zwiener
kinda funny to ask their friends ..."have you seen billy zwiener?" i don't know why.

Peter Guice, the guy the green river bridge is named after

Rhoda Cow, and Forrest Green (both real names)

Dagger's guru of canoe production is named Buster Armes.

Christian Anguish (really!)

Went to elem. school with the Day sisters
Sunny (my year) and Windy (yes spelled with an I)

[Sir Adam]

My room-mate in college went to high school with Anita Herring. All was well until they all got introduced to Monty Python....

My former boss was Dick Whitehead (who's real name as I recall was William Richard Whitehead...so it was his choice (in his defence, his Father was Bill...)).