Numb Nuts to You

billhay4 · Post by **billhay4** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 9:36 pm

C-boaters, having a little difficulty getting it up? Can't go the distance? You sex life reduced to fond memories of past conquests? Finding fantasy better than reality?
Have I got a cure? NO! Have I got a possible explanation? Yes.
We all know what woozzies bicyclists are, now don't we? And we all know why. The lycra-clad yuppies (to quote a letter in the Roanoke Times some years ago from a woman who was threatening to run bicyclists off the road rather than give way to them), have had their necessaries pounded into usefullness by the hard saddles they sit on.
Yes, c-boaters, saddles. Hmm, strike a bell? You betcha.
The June 28, 2011, New York Times offers an article (here: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/28/scien ... sts&st=cse) on the subject that paddlers of the single-bladed persuasion might pay attention to.
Turns out, it's the front the bicycle that is at fault because it transfers ones weight from the pelvis to the (gasp!) crotch. This can decrease ones “percent of time erect”, cause numb-nuttedness, tingling, and other unnatural sensations. No data on sperm count, sexual attractiveness, etc. was given but one can extrapolate.
The solution? A cupped bicycle seat that cups the buttocks, but has no nose.
Now, I personally have never suffered any of these issues. Just like I have never suffered any knee stiffness, ankle pain, difficulty walking down to scout a Class V rapid, numbness of the legs, or loss of appeal to women. And, of course, neither have you, I know.
But, surely there must be some woozzies out there (former c-boaters all) who have suffered from the design of c-boat saddles. And surely they must realize the validity of this article (it IS the New York Times, after all). And surely they must be getting to work as we speak to design a new saddle incorporating butt massages and personal freedom. Get to work, Larry.
Bill

Admin modified (only slightly).

Cheeks · Post by **Cheeks** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 9:45 pm

billhay4 · Post by **billhay4** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 9:47 pm

See what I mean?
Bill

FullGnarlzOC · Post by **FullGnarlzOC** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:16 pm

I don't know how to respond other than what are you on ? R U SNIFFING BATH SALTS OR SOMETHING

Post by **PAC** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:24 pm

Where is Jay Not Elvis when you need him for that pix of his specially outfit saddle system?

Anyway... watching the Tour De France and the local MB & down hill racing crowd I really doubt one can call out cyclists.... I think I'd huck a lung at about 10% of the effort. Just say'n.

But then again Jay's saddle solves that issue and is often reveiwed by yak'ers at the put in / take out... usually stating "We heard it was true but never thought....gosh darn"!

Cheeks · Post by **Cheeks** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:33 pm

FullGnarlzOC wrote:I don't know how to respond other than what are you on ? R U SNIFFING BATH SALTS OR SOMETHING

I thought it was spam until I actually read it.

And for the record, when McGnarlz thinks you're nuts...well dam

FullGnarlzOC · Post by **FullGnarlzOC** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:26 am

I dont know what kind of saddles your using billyboy but mine doesnt have a silicon modification on it like yours may have. I suggest you remove the modification, then perhaps you may experience some 'combat freedom'

and besides...some of us have more steel.

Modified by admin.... after thoughtful chuckling!

Craig Smerda · Post by **Craig Smerda** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:47 am

ESS is no joke folks... and it is quite common amongst Cboaters!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9alvLdf5eWw

(Image removed by moderator)

these poor fellows had the same problem... once the large cockpit (pun intended) kayaks and ultra-stretchy sprayskirts (kilts) were introduced they could comfortably sit down again to enjoy boating. of course using a pair of paddle blades helps to compensate for the extra weight mass centered inside the boat.

currently I'm working on a solution for these disabled folks to get back into c-boating... can't say much but an appropriate sling and multiple bungee cords is incorporated.

if this is a serious post... my apologies.

Pierre LaPaddelle · Post by **Pierre LaPaddelle** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:18 am

billhay4 wrote: Now, I personally have never suffered any of these issues. Just like I have never suffered any knee stiffness, ankle pain, difficulty walking down to scout a Class V rapid, numbness of the legs, or loss of appeal to women.

. . . Or dreadful taste in boat colour???

Rick

insolence · Post by **insolence** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:01 am

?????
maybe I just don't get the point due to my lacking knowledge of the english language

is this really serious???

however, thank god I'm a woman

FullGnarlzOC wrote: and besides...some of us have more steel.

Modified by admin.... after thoughtful chuckling!

aren't boobs the bigger balls anyway?

Craig Smerda · Post by **Craig Smerda** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:26 pm

nutz wrote:(Image removed by moderator)

FullGnarlzOC · Post by **FullGnarlzOC** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:16 pm

Id like to think its boobs I've been attracted to all these years and not big balls....and I'm not talkin about tonys boobs.

Boobs of steel.

Stingray · Post by **Stingray** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:39 pm

boobs may be the bigger ones in germany,
in the US (in the eastern part of the country) its hard to tell w/ the over shoulder boulder holders the guys and girls are using these days

billhay4 · Post by **billhay4** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:50 pm

Well, this was a semi-serious post written in a non-serious manner. I see that it flew over the head of many members. I am not surprised, or even offended. Pleased would be the word. What do you expect from this crowd?
In fact, saddle design in c-boats is primitive (as are c-boaters), and probably does result in damage to both male and female anatomy. It hasn't been determined yet how exactly it affects the head, but it certainly seems to do just that.
Bill

Post by **sbroam** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:04 pm

Maybe I've got my saddle set up just right, then, says the father of 4

C-Forum

Numb Nuts to You

Numb Nuts to You

Wat

Re: Numb Nuts to You